I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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