so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
