I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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