My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
