he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
