why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
