Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So much rum. So many feels.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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