She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I intend to get homeless drunk
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize