Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My feet surprised me
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