at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
