is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
