I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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