I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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