you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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