Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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