im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
