are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
