mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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