her vagine was all disorganized.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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