There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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