Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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