Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am spending my child support on dildos
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
