32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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