Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
