I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
