Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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