What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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