I got chris browned last night
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
