5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
