Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
please don't ironically join a cult
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