the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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