he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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