He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
