Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize