Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
