my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
