...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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