somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
