Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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