my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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