I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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