you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
