Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
