oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize