Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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