Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
