did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
PANTIES FOUND
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