no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize