Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
