i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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