D3 body, D1 cock
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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