During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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