Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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