We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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