GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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