Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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