I wish I could punch you in the face.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
